Super Broflovski Brothers
by RockHead South Park
Summary: Adventure is the name of the game when the first born daughter of the Royal Canadian Family is abducted.  Can Sir Ike Broflovski and His reluctant brother Kyle Save the day? or will an evil force rein over Canada once more?
1. Chapter 1

**Super Broflovski Brothers.**

**ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS PORTRAYED IN THIS STORY EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL EVENTS ARE FICTIONAL ALL CELEBRITIES VOICES ARE IMATATED POORLY THIS STORY CONTAINS OFFENSIVE CONTENT THAT SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE.**

CHAPTER ONE. The new girl.

The kindergarden class at South Park Elementary is sitting at the main table in the classroom, the teacher is writing something on the board.

Teacher: Okay class today we have a new student joining us please give a hand in welcoming Alyson Karzis.

A little Canadian girl with Brown hair done in a ponytail and wearing an apple red dress walks in, she looks nervously at the class Ike stares at her and smiles like a lovesick puppy.

Alyson: Uhm…. Hi .

Fillmore: Teacher what's wrong with her head?

Alyson starts crying.

Ike: (hits Fillmore, he cries) She's Canadian you bastard

Teacher: That's enough both of you sit in the corner.

Ike and Fillmore pout and walk to the corner, Alyson smiles at Ike.

At lunch Time Ike sits with other Kindergardeners Alyson walks up to them.

Alyson: Hi can I sit here?

Kindergardener: no go away weird kid.

Kindergardener 2: yeah beat it, floppyhead.

Alyson Cries and runs away, Ike Strikes the Kid with his lunch tray, and gets in his face.

Ike: Don't fuck with the new girl or I'll fuck with you

Kindergardener: Cries into his tray Alyson sees Ike stand up for her and walks toward him sniffling.

Ike: Hi I'm Ike.

Alyson: (sniffle) Thanks for standing up for me.

Ike: No problem. You want to play together at recess?

Alyson: Okay.

Meanwhile at the 4th grade boy's table the boys watch Ike as he and Alyson eat lunch together.

Stan: Dude I can't believe it, First day here and your brother and the new girl are already hitting it off.

Kenny (yeah do you think they'll have sex)

Cartman: Yeah Remember Ms Stephenson Kahl.

Kyle: Shut up Cartman this is serious I don't want my brother going through that kind of relationship Again.

Stan: Kyle buddy don't you think your jumping the gun a bit, I mean sure what Ike did with that teacher was wrong but I think this girl and your brother have going on is just a harmless relationship like me and Wendy have.

Kenny:(So what your saying is given the choice you wouldn't fuck Wendy ?)

Stan: no dude what I meant was…. He is interrupted by Cartman.

Cartman: what he means is that the thought of having sex with that ugly cow he calls a girlfriend makes him sick to his stomach(laugh's hysterically)

Stan Smacks upside the head with his lunch tray Cartman retaliates by throwing his peas at Stan, He misses and hits Craig.

Craig: you fat son of a bitch. He throws his pudding cup at Cartman and hits him. Oh and he flips him off too this is Craig after all.

Cartman: Craig you bastard. He throws his milk carton and misses hitting Wendy)

Wendy Glares at him menacingly and throws her broccoli at him, Clyde shouts Food Fight!  
>The whole cafeteria explodes into a massive food fight that would make Chef roll in his grave were he occupying it, the food fight lasts for five minutes until Principal Victoria and Mr Mackey step in.<p>

Mr Mackey: All right that's enough mkay! Break it up.

Mr Mackey All right who started this?

The students all point at the four boys, Cartman get's pissed.

Cartman: Fuck You Craig, Fuck you Wendy, Fuck you Thomas.

Thomas: what did I AWE FUCK do?

Principal Victoria: Eric Cartman watch your language your four boys in my office now.

Mr Mackey: All right the rest of you get back to class Mmmkay.

Later At Recess Ike and Alyson are playing on the swing set

Alyson: So you're adopted?

Ike: yeah I've lived in South Park as long as I can remember.

Alyson: My parents Just moved here from Ottawa. My Daddy said He found a good paying Job here.

Ike: That's cool. Do you want to come over to my House and play after school?

Alyson: I'd have to ask my Daddy. But I would guess It would be okay.

Meanwhile across the fence two Canadians in Black suits and sunglasses watch as the two of them play.

Suit#1: Mother Goose this is Moose Goldilocks is secure over.

There is inaudible response from radio.

Suit#1: Roger Mother Goose will pick up Goldilocks on schedule. He signals to Suit#2 who beeps the horn on the black Car.

Alyson: My rides here I gotta go see ya later Ike.

Ike: Wow her parents must be loaded or something.

Unbeknownst to Ike and the Security detail two mysterious figures watch from inside the bushes.

Figure#1: Target in sight soon we will avenge our defeat all those ages ago and bring all of Canada to its knees.

Figure#2:Yes soon our dark lord shall rise once more.

The two figures put their hands under their armpits and fart.

An hour after school lets out the boys walk home exhausted.

Cartman: God Damn It why we have to stay after when Craig and Wendy got to go home?

Kyle: Because Fatass you had to Mouth off the Principal. My Mom's gonna kill me.

Cartman: Aww wah wah always crying because your big fat joo mom is gonna go pms on you.

Kyle: Don't about my Mom like you fat half Ginger son of a bitch!

Cartman: Yeah well at least I'm Half Bronco Jinger Jersey Joo

Kyle: Yeah well at least my mom isn't a dirty crack whore who slept with Jack Tenorman!

Cartman: shut your fucking jew mouth Kyle!

Stan: Will you two just shut up! I'm too tired to deal with this Shit right now.

Well we'll leave the boys to fight it out and go check on Ike who's been waiting Alyson to show up at his house for over more than an hour.

Ike looks at his watch then turns on the tv for Terrence and Philip.

Philip: Say Terrence what did the Cantonese scuba diver say to the Kazak dentist?

Terrence: I don't know Philip what did the Cantonese scuba diver say to the Kazak dentist?

Philip farts in Terrence's face they both laugh. Suddenly a Canada Channel emergency bulletin appears.

Canadian TV Anchor: We interrupt this program to bring to all Canadians at home or abroad this breaking News The First Born Daughter of the Royal Canadian Family has been abducted. A picture of Alyson appears on screen.

Canadian TV Anchor: Princess Alyson of the Royal Canadian family was abducted from Royal security detail this afternoon. We do not know is responsible but, This just in The Canadian Prime Minister has asked Canadians every where to open their box of faith.

Ike goes upstairs to get his box of faith, He has a new one given to him by the Princess after he was granted Knighthood. Ike presses the button and a signal shoots out of the box showing an iron maple leaf. A Canadian Forces Helicopter sees the Signal.

CF commander: We found him take her down. The pilot nods and Lands in the Broflovski's front yard.

The CF Commander knocks on the front door Ike answers in Full knight armor, full beard included.

CF: Sir Ike Brovflovski we've been expecting you, come with us.

Meanwhile Kyle is walking home after his Argument with Cartman , He sees the Canadian Forces Taking Ike onto the helicopter. He gives Chase but the Helicopter has Already taken off.

Kyle: IKE WHERE ARE YOU GOING DINNER IS IN 15 MINUTES! Ike!.

Ike: shouts from the Chopper, I'M GOING TO SAVE THE PRINCESS!

Kyle desperate to catch up to his brother grabs on to the landing gear.

Kyle: WE NEED TO HOME OR MOM WILL GROUND US BOTH!

Ike: BUT I HAVE TO GO BOX OF FAITH KYLE BOX OF FAITH!

Two Canadian soldiers pull Kyle into the helicopter.

Canadian soldier: what do want us to do aboot him Sir?

Ike: Looks like he's coming with us.

End of Chapter Commentary.  
>I got the idea to do this after seeing Royal Pudding. I kind of went to Deviant Art and someone had made a poster of that episode I can't remember what it was called but It had Tooth decay holding the Princess captive and Ike and the others going to save her and it reminded me of Super Mario Brothers.<p>

Then I thought Ike and Kyle are Brothers and the rest just came to me.

I'm sorry about the shortness of this Commentary but I'm more of a Thinker and less of a speaker.

Anyway I just want to thank some of my Friends Project B you inspired me to write. SP Gooner you showed me that Ocs don't have to taste like bad Cole slaw I love Alec, Squirrel Keep your work on deviant art coming I love Nightmare and Chair and finally to my family of course for supporting me. Please read and review.


	2. Chapter 2

Super Broflovski Brothers

Well I'm back and ready to write some more. There's something I forgot to mention last chapter, this story is written in a script format.  
>Anyway here's Chapter 2 of Super Broflovski Brothers.<p>

All Stories and Characters portrayed in this fiction are fiction all celebrity voices and canon characters are impersonated poorly this fiction contains offensive content and as such should not be read by anyone.

Chapter 2 An Extra helping of Royal Pudding.

Kyle's Narration: Well here I an again off on some harebrained adventure with my little brother to Canada, Mom is wondering why I'm late for dinner and I can't call her because a Canadian soldier confiscated my cell phone.

Kyle to Soldier: where exactly are we going?

Soldier: That's classified until we get there buddeh.

Kyle: you've been saying that ever since I got on board. My curfew was three hours ago My parents are going to ground me.

Soldier: well guy I guess your screwed eh.

Kyle to Ike: can't you do something I mean you're a knight aren't you?

Ike shakes his head.

Kyle why not?

Ike: because we're here.

Kyle looks out the window and sees a majestic castle made with totem pole spires and a waterfall and moat of maple syrup.

Soldier welcome to Castle Greypoot.

The soldiers lead them to the great hall. Where the Prince and Princess of Canada are waiting at the top of the stairs

Kyle: Nervously, Er hi everybody.

the band plays an instrumental version of O Canada.  
>Ike gets down on one knee.<p>

Princess: Sir Ike Broflovski thou has answered Canada's call of duty. She's sees Kyle, and Who might I ask is this?

Kyle: I'm Err Kyle your majesty Ike's my little brother well actually he's not real brother my parents adopted him from Canada.

Prince: And why are you here?

Kyle: look I just need to use your phone.

Prince It's over there buddeh.

Kyle: thanks.

Princess: may we continue?

Prince: yes dear.

Princess: Brave sir Ike Thou has served thy country well in the past and now Canada needs you more than ever, Our daughter has been kidnapped. She breaks down and cries the prince grabs her.

Kyle: so can't you send the army or something.

Prince: I'm afraid it's more serious than that. Alyson holds something that in the wrong hands could doom all of Canada.

Kyle: Like what?

Prince: Come there is much to show you.  
>Just as he's about to open a sealed door at the top of the stairs a voice rings out.<br>Wait just a minute guy the doors fly open and everyone stands in awe.

Soldier: It's Scott.

Drummer: He's a dick.

Piper: and then he went to Ottawa and got radiation poisoning and now he's a giant dick.

Scott: your highness (he stops to bow) what do you think your doing allowing this American to see our greatest secret.

Prince: He's the brother of one our bravest knights Scott.

Scott: do your know who his mother is your Highness.

Kyle: puts his hand to his face: oh fuck me not again.

Scott: His Mother is Sheila Broflovski the woman who tried to single handily destroy our beloved Canada.

Everyone in the great hall gasps.

Prince and Princess: Shelia Broflovski!

Soldiers: Shelia Broflovski!

Band: Shelia Broflovski!

Kyle: Oh shit.

The Canadians' pick up Torches and pitchforks and form an angry mob.

Kyle: Hold on lets be reasonable, that was a long time ago.

Scott: Get him.

The Canadians chase Kyle down the hall in a Hanna Barbara Chase sequence. Kyle runs through several doors being chased by the angry mob. Finally he runs up a flight of stairs and is corned on the rooftop.

Scott: There he is kill the fart loving American Pig.

Slowly the angry mob closes in on Kyle he kicks a rock off and looks down at the moat of maple syrup below.

Scott: any last you Fart loving bastard.

Kyle: Look I know I've had my differences with Canada in the past and I know my Mom can be little misguided but she did what she did because cared about my wellbeing.

Scott: well what are waiting for? Let's kill this American pig.

Ike: Stop!

Prince: Sir Broflovski.

Ike: I won't let you hurt my brother.

Ike:I know your angry at my family for what my mom did. But your forgetting aboot all that the Broflovski's have done for Canada since.

The mob looks confused.

Ike : Who helped Save Terrence and Philip and End the War? My Brother. Who helped Save Us when Saddam tried to ruin Christmas? My brother. Who Helped us end the 2008 Canadian Strike? My Brother.

The mob starts muttering to each other.

I know that America and Canada have their differences but if Kyle has taught me anything, it's that we share Brotherhood.

The Mob Calms Down.

Scott: what are you doing lets Kill him already!

Ike: Stop being such a giant dick Scott?

Prince: He's right Scott you're being a giant dick.

Defeated Scott the Giant Dick walks away but fails to notice that is walking towards the edge until It's too late.

Scott: You loving assholes haven't seen the last of me SPLOOSH!

Princess: Wow that guy is such a giant dick, Well Kyle Broflovski It seems we owe you an apology.

Kyle: That's okay.

Prince: Well after hearing how much you've helped Canada, I think someone's entitled to a knighthood.

Kyle: thanks but I really just want to use your phone.

Guard: here you are guy.

Kyle Dials home.

Sheila: hello?

Kyle: It's me Mom.

Sheila: Kyle Bubbe do know what time it is Dinner was six hours ago where are you and where is Ike?

Kyle: (Sheepishly) Well Mom we're kind of in Canada.

Sheila: WHAT WHAT WHAT!

Kyle: I can explain!

Sheila: Explain then young man.

Kyle: well these Canadian Army guys showed up at our house said that Ike was needed and they left, and I kinda hitched a ride on the landing gear but I only did It because I concerned about Ike. (He pants nervously)

Sheila: Well stay where you are we coming to get you okay.

Kyle: okay Mom love you.

Sheila: I love you too bubbe but your in a lot of trouble.

Kyle: okay bye. He hangs up the phone.

Sheila: Gerald wake up.

Gerald: (mubling in his sleep oh ooh oooh Mila Kunis)

Sheila: WHAT!

Gerald: Wha oh hi honey.

Sheila slaps him.

Gerald: what did I do?

Sheila we'll discuss it later Gerald, pack up wee going to Canada.

Gerald: aren't we on the no fly to Canada thanks to you?

Sheila: Crap we'll have to find another airline she dials the phone.

Meanwhile at Citi Wok…

the phone rings Lu Kim answers.

Lu Kim: Wercorm to Shitty wok can I your order Prease.

Gerald: Well actually Mr Lu Kim I was inquiring about Citi Airlines.

Lu Kim: okay one moment Prease*puts on Citi Airlines cap* Welcome to Shitty Airrines how can I help you?

Gerald: My Wife and I were inquiring about a flight to Canada, round trip our son is there.

Lu Kim: Is your wife the clazy rady with the big led hair?

Gerald: Uhhh yes.

Lu Kim: Okay round trip to Canada Gonna cost about eight hundred and fifty dorrar.

Gerald: how about four hundred Dorrar?|

Lu Kim: oh sorry can't go rower than six hundred and fifty dorrar.

Gerald: How about six hundred dorrar?

Lu Kim: Godamnit I go no rower than thirty dorrar.

Gerald: Okay thirty dorrar sounds good.

Lu Kim: okay be here no rater than six thirty.

Gerald: Okay honey I got us flight let's go.

Later at the hanger behind Citi Wok Tuong Lu Kim brings out a badly worn out rickety Cessna.

Sheila: Are you sure this is safe?

Lu Kim: Don't worry rady It safe rike baby in a crib.

Sheila mutters to Gerald*you couldn't get us anything better?*

Gerald: I told you were not allowed on Flights to Canada anymore.

Lu Kim: Are you two coming or not?

Gerald: Yeah we're coming.

They Board the plane Sheila squeezes Gerald against the door on his side of the cabin and presses Lu Kim against the dash board.

Lu Kim: okay welcome to Shitty Airrines I see were a bit Cramped thanks to big rady but we do the best we can, Arright everybody fasten seatbelts as we prepare for takeoff.

The Plane slowly taxis down the runway, It makes it about thirty feet before the wheels give out then the tail breaks off then the wings fall off and plane falls apart.

Lu Kim: Aw very sorry forks but seem to be carrying a rittle extra weight thanks to fat rady.

Sheila WHAT WHAT WHAT! * she glares at Lu Kim.

Lu Kim: Oh fuck.

Sheila starts beating the crap out of Lu Kim inside a cartoon fight cloud.

Lu Kim: ow whats wrong with you clazy rady, ow that doesn't bend that way, Ow Runcle Runcle.

Sheila: Call me fat will you , get back here .

Sheila grabs the propeller from the plane and beats over the head with it busting his head open.

Gerald just stands there and palms his face.

Meanwhile Back in Canada….

The prince Leads Ike and Kyle to a secret Chamber in the great Hall.

Prince: What I am aboot to show you no non Canadian has ever seen but seeing as Sir Ike trusts you I suppose I should too.

Kyle: Okay.

The prince walks over to a bust of John Candy and opens the top pressing a button on top causing the thrones slide to the side revealing a hidden passage.

The prince grabs a torch and a lights his lighter, He farts on it lighting the torch and laughs.

The prince leads Kyle and Ike down the winding stairs for almost an hour.|

Kyle: **Panting and out of breath** I'm so tired are we there yet?

Ike: Yes.

the Prince opens the door a bright golden light gleaming from behind.

Prince: What I'm aboot to show you Sir Ike is the Greatest Secret in Canada.

End of Chapter

This one was a pain in the ass to write. I was stuck for almost a week halfway through and just finished it tonight. Well read and review.


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